Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
True strength comes from lack of pants
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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