Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
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I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
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So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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