It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Randomize
