Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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