I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
