I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
