Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize