You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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