Sry I called you an 8
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
