My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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