he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
my being single is dangerous.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Actions speak louder than pants.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
