Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
