I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
