Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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