why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
