I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
