Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
