scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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