I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
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They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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