I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Four minutes until I can fart!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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