Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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