I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
