Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
