I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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