Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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