you guys were way drunker than both of me
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
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I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
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It's no shave November. This is our time.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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