I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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