is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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