Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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