I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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