no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
she pinky promised me she was 18
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
