My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
