SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
i now understand why vodka
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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