Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
