no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
it wasn't lemon gatorade
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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