"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
