I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
