you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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