I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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