Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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