if i can run in heels then i can drive
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
