At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.