real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.