spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I deserve this hangover.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
