Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind