I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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