So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
