Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
