That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
