Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
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