So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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