bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
