so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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