I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize