Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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