Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
