He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
