I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I touched a dick in church today
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
