When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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