Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize