if you like me you must not know who I am
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
