From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I think a kid would responsible me up
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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