They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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