I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
There's always time for handjobs
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
