the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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