I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
